Training Bands and Training Wheels
Proverbs 22:6 TRAIN up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
When I was growing up, most parents used what I call the "running along-side" method to teach their kids how to ride a bike. The parents would go out and buy a two wheeled bike for a special birthday or Christmas gift and give it to the child. The child was always SUPER excited when they saw the bike sitting in the living room or garage and couldn't wait to ride it. So what does any good parent do? Of course, they take their child out on the street and "run along-side" the bike while their child rides.
Eventually the parent will "let go", hoping their child was somehow born with the natural ability to ride a two wheeled bike right out of the womb. But what happens? The child crashes his/her bike and goes into a royal meltdown. What happened? The child was so overwhelmed by all the different skills it takes to ride a bike they just didn't know what to do. Why do we expect a child to go from training wheels straight to a two wheeler?
The all black "training bands" are reminders to my boys to "treat women right." At the age of 6 & 7 "treating women right" means simple things like opening the door for them, letting them go first or never hitting a girl. Just like teaching them to ride a bike one skill at a time, I am trying to introduce one life skill at at time until they get it down. Does that mean that the boys always open the door for ladies, or let them go first? Oh NO there are MANY times I have to remind them why we wear the bands and what it means in 6 & 7 year old terms to "treat women right" just like there are many times I have to remind myself why I wear my band and what it means in "34 year old terms" to treat a woman right.
Are you overwhelming your children with too many responsibilities all at once or are you introducing one skill after another until they get them down?
Eventually the parent will "let go", hoping their child was somehow born with the natural ability to ride a two wheeled bike right out of the womb. But what happens? The child crashes his/her bike and goes into a royal meltdown. What happened? The child was so overwhelmed by all the different skills it takes to ride a bike they just didn't know what to do. Why do we expect a child to go from training wheels straight to a two wheeler?
Why don't we teach our kids to master a few different skills at a time, so they aren't so overwhelmed?
I learned this from watching my father-in-law teach our oldest child Brooke how to ride her bike. First he took her in a grassy field so if she fell she wouldn't scrape herself up on the concrete, then he taught her to coast, then to ride straight, then once she got that, he taught her how to turn the bike and so on. He introduced one skill after another until she got that one down. This allowed her to concentrate on one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed.
How can I expect my children to understand all the different skills involved in "going the right way" in life at such a young age? Am I expecting too much from an 8,7,6, & 3 year old? Of course I am! The ultimate goal of raising children for EVERY parent is to train them up so when they become adults they make wise choices. As I contemplated the responsibility of training up my children I decided to made a conscious effort to teach my children, especially my boys, to master a few life skills through "training bands."
I learned this from watching my father-in-law teach our oldest child Brooke how to ride her bike. First he took her in a grassy field so if she fell she wouldn't scrape herself up on the concrete, then he taught her to coast, then to ride straight, then once she got that, he taught her how to turn the bike and so on. He introduced one skill after another until she got that one down. This allowed her to concentrate on one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed.
How can I expect my children to understand all the different skills involved in "going the right way" in life at such a young age? Am I expecting too much from an 8,7,6, & 3 year old? Of course I am! The ultimate goal of raising children for EVERY parent is to train them up so when they become adults they make wise choices. As I contemplated the responsibility of training up my children I decided to made a conscious effort to teach my children, especially my boys, to master a few life skills through "training bands."
For several years now, I have been wearing a "man band" with a thin red line around my wrist to constantly remind me of how important it is to be a good father, and husband to those God has entrusted to me. This reminder to be a good father and husband is not something I take lightly. It is my number 1 earthly priority.
The all black "training bands" are reminders to my boys to "treat women right." At the age of 6 & 7 "treating women right" means simple things like opening the door for them, letting them go first or never hitting a girl. Just like teaching them to ride a bike one skill at a time, I am trying to introduce one life skill at at time until they get it down. Does that mean that the boys always open the door for ladies, or let them go first? Oh NO there are MANY times I have to remind them why we wear the bands and what it means in 6 & 7 year old terms to "treat women right" just like there are many times I have to remind myself why I wear my band and what it means in "34 year old terms" to treat a woman right.
The ultimate goal for my boys is that as they get older, I will introduce them to more and more black and white skills of "how to treat women right" until they have eventually learned enough skills along the way to have earned the privilege of taking off the "training bands" and wearing a "man band" so that even when they are old they will treat women right.
A Couple of Thought Provoking Questions:
Are you purposely teaching your children how to master life skills or are you hoping they were just born with the natural ability to make wise choices?
Are you overwhelming your children with too many responsibilities all at once or are you introducing one skill after another until they get them down?
Comments
Post a Comment