Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?


Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

Picture this scene in your mind.  There is a bride who is head over heals in love with her groom--she has found Mr. Right!  It is only days or maybe hours before the "big day."  The bride is sitting around with her girlfriends and one of them says, "I wish I were in love like you."  And the brides response is, "No you don't--not unless it is the right time and with the right person."



What wisdom from a young bride.  Wisdom I wish I had when I was in my teens or  early twenties.  There is a historical scene much like this one recorded in the book of Song of Solomon (Chapter 2:7).  What the bride actually said was this, " Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild not to awaken love until the time is right."

For those of us who are "city folk" this may not be a very familiar analogy but I have seen enough episodes of Duck Dynasty to picture a hunter trying to sneak up on a deer in the woods.  You cannot awaken or startle that deer until you are ready to take your shot or the deer will take off and you will end up with nothing.

The same thing is true with love, you have to take your time before you pull back the arrow of love.  If you awaken love with the wrong person or at the wrong time it will leave you with a broken heart and some real life consequences.

It is not very often that I refer to "Old English" words used in the 1600's but the idiom "to know" a man referring to having sexual intercourse actually illustrates the point that I am trying to make quite nicely.   You must truly know the person you are with before you can experience all that sexual intercourse was designed to be.

Take a moment now to continuing reading the account of this bride and groom in Song of Solomon: 
"Ah, I hear him--my lover!  Here is comes...My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young deer...My lover said to me, 'Rise up, my beloved, my fair one, and come away.  For the winter is past, and the rain is over and gone.  The flowers are springing up and the time of singing birds has come."         (Song of Solomon 2:8-12 New Living Translation)

Notice 3 things from the rest of the story.  First, the bride hears the grooms voice and recognizes it.  This implies that she has taken the time to really get to know her groom.  Secondly notice, the bride uses the exact same animals used previously, the gazelle and deer, to say this groom is the one she was waiting to awaken her love, her "Mr. Right." and then lastly you will notice the time is right-the winter is over and no it is time to blossom together if you will.  They found the right person, got to know each other very well and then when the time was right they got married.

I do not think of myself as hyper-religious or judgemetal.  I do not go around telling everyone they are going to Hell if they have sex before marriage, but I do believe there are two choices on the table and one is a better choice.  The choice is up to you.  Don't rush to judgment on either side before making an educated decision. Think through the facts.  Studies like the one done by the Journal of Family Psychology helped me formulate my view on this issue.  This study showed that couples who wait until marriage for sex find:

1: Greater quality in sex
2: Better Communication in the Relationship
3: Relationship Satisfaction
4: Stability
If you are a parent ask yourself which choice would you want your kids to make and why?  Do you want your kids to be careful and only awaken love at the right time and with the right person instead of rushing into something and coming out with a broken heart?
Have you found Mr. Right or just Mr. Right now?


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