Dream Wedding Part 2: The Approved Guest List


We live in a society where we are so conditioned to do whatever we want, no matter what other people think, that sometimes we fail to seek the advice of those closest to us.  There are many times in life when we need the insight and approval of those around us before making a rash decision.  In regards to treating women right, one of the biggest times we need the approval of some very important people in our lives is before we decide to get married.  We should not rashly meet a prospective mate, set a date, write up a guest list for the big day and go get married without getting approval first.

The most important person to approve of your marriage is you!  I know this sounds ridiculous, who would get marred if they didn't approve of the marriage themselves? It happens more than you think.  I did not approve of my first marriage, but I got married anyway. Her family, my family and all of our friends approved of the marriage so I thought she was the right one to marry but deep down in my own heart I didn't approve of my own marriage.
I never understood what happily married couples meant when they told me "When you meet the one you are supposed to marry you will 'just know.'"  Until I met the Love of My Life, Alana I "just knew."  I just knew without a doubt that we were perfect for each other and I had no hesitations about marrying her.

Without sounding too cliché unless you are 100% sure that you want to be married to the person for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health until death do you part--DONT get married you don't approve of the marriage. 

What I am about to say may be controversial but it is what I believe so here goes-- No matter the circumstances, no exceptions, (I am not even going to fill in the blanks here because I firmly believe there are not exceptions to what I am about to say) if YOU do not fully approve of marrying a potential spouse you should NOT marry them!  Don't make the same mistake I made and marry the wrong person just because everyone else approved of her.

Even though YOU are the most important person to approve of your marriage, you are not the only person that should approve of it.  After you fully approve of your marriage, then seek the advice and approval of those closest to you.  Song of Solomon 3:6-11 is more than the account of a beautiful wedding ceremony for Solomon and his bride, it is a list of guests that attended this wedding because they approved of the marriage.



Guest #1 who approved the marriage:  God
The first one to approve of this wedding was God.  Song of Solomon 3:6 asks, "Who is coming out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke...?"  This is a reference to the wandering of the children of Israel in the wilderness who were being guided on their journey by the Spirit of God.  And the Spirit of God would show himself to the people in the form of a pillar of fire so they knew He was present with them.  This reference implies that God approves of the marriage of Solomon and his bride and will be with the couple in their marriage relationship.  The approval of the one who created marriage is very important for a long and happy marriage.

Guest #2 who approved the marriage:  The Bridal Party
The second guests to approve of this wedding were the bridal party.  Song of Solomon 3:7 says Solomon came "with sixty valiant men around him...every man had his sword."  By wearing their swords, these valiant groomsmen were not only showing their approval of the marriage but they were committing to protect it against anyone who would want to separate this married couple.  Chapter 3:10 says, the daughters of Jerusalem, who were the brides friends and bridesmaids, decorated the interior of the wedding carriage with love for the couple. 

Tommy Nelson says in his book The Book of Romance (p. 76)


•                As a whole, those who witness your marriage should be like a holy hedge of protection around you, keeping you focused toward each other inside the circle of matrimony, and keeping out anybody who might try to destroy your marriage.  Don't ask someone to stand up for you who isn't completely committed to you, to your marriage and, in general, to the sanctity and value of marriage.  Such a person will not encourage you to work through problems in your marriage; such a person will not do the utmost to help you and your spouse when you need help.  And they may embarrass you at the rehearsal dinner


Guest #3 who approved the marriage:  The Mother of the Groom
In Chapter 3:11 Solomon's mother crowned him with a wedding crown to show her approval of his bride and this marriage.  In today's wedding ceremonies the Father of the Bride traditionally "gives the bride away" to symbolize the approval of the brides parents.  Once after a wedding I performed I overheard a little girl asking someone why the bride changed her mind.  I was so curious I had to ask her what she meant.   She said the bride walked down the aisle with one man but walked back up the aisle at the end with another man, why did she change her mind on who to marry?  The little girl didn't quite understand the symbolism behind the father giving the bride away. 

Before you marry someone take time to get to know your perspective spouse's family because you are marrying into their family and their approval is important.  If the family does not give their approval of the marriage listen to their concerns and consider them carefully. 



To have a dream marriage, you first need a dream wedding and no matter how big or beautiful a dream wedding will never happen without the proper approval.  

Questions to consider

Q1:Are you so conditioned to do whatever you want that you fail to seek the advice of those closest to you?  

Q2:  If you are dating or engaged do you fully approve of your potential spouse?  If not don't get married NO MATTER WHAT!


Q3:  Do you agree or disagree with the statement " No matter the circumstances, no exceptions, if YOU do not fully approve of marrying a potential spouse you should NOT marry them! Why do you agree or disagree?

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