What Does the Fox Say?

In the late 1990's there were a series of books titled:  “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”  They had, “Don’t sweat the small stuff at work”  “Don’t sweat the small stuff with your family” “Don’t sweat the small stuff for women” and several others.  With over 25 million copies in print, the Don’t Sweat philosophy has touched multiple generations of parents & grandparents, teenagers & kids.  Many of you may have a copy of one of these books on your bookshelf or nightstand right now.

The problem with that philosophy is that the little things that we leave unresolved will continue to fester and can eventually ruin our relationships.  Solomon writes in Song of Solomon 2:15  "Quick!  Catch all the little foxes before they ruin the vineyard of your love..."-NLT

If it is the little things that can easily ruin our relationships, why don't we catch them?  Why do we let them continue to run around in our relationships and ruin our vineyards?  The reason is their size.  Some things don't seem like a big deal, they seem like "the small stuff" and we have been conditioned not to sweat the small stuff.  We tend to pay close attention to preventing the big relationship busters like infidelity, and financial crisis but we don't usually recognize that the biggest threat to our relationships come from what we might casually think of as smaller issues or irritations with one another. You can build a fence to keep the big fox out, but its the little fox that can squeeze through that fence.

"Chuck Swindoll said in his book, Strike the Original Match (1) the "large stuff," paradoxically enough, will actually strengthen a marriage in many instances:  the loss of a job, a sudden illness, a long absence.  It's those "little foxes"--often minor irritations that don't get discussed--that add up.  It's the slow leaks, not the blow outs...that cut away at the heart of a home until it crumbles and two people end up walking away.

You need a system to address the little foxes that can get into your relationships so that they don't become bigger problems.  You must agree with your spouse on how to bring up these seemingly insignificant things so that no one feels picked on or nagged at you when they bring up little fox. Be willing to listen to what that little fox is saying when your spouse brings it up.   And here is the big one, be willing to ask "What can I do to help catch the little fox so it doesn't ruin our relationship?"



If you are irritated with something small about your spouse, don't make a big deal of it but address it QUICKLY.  Sometimes in relationships we rationalize lying a little or misleading a little or being irritated a little or whatever a little but don't let those little foxes hang around your relationship they are not harmless.  Don’t let these small things ruin your relationships, it’s not worth it.  Life’s too short, sweat the small stuff.


Bibliography: (1).  Portland, OR Multnomah Press, 1980, p. 87

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