Complimenting Beauty

The words, "You look beautiful," are music to every woman's ears!  Have you said them to your wife lately?  I know I don't say them often enough.  When she takes the time do do her hair and get all dressed up for a night out, that is your clue to give her a compliment on her beauty.  I have learned the hard way that if she has to ask, "How do I look?" or "Do you like my hair?" you have missed the opportunity to show her how beautiful she is to you.  We should compliment our wife's, girlfriend's, and even daughter's beauty because it makes them feel loved.


Listen to some ways Solomon tells his Love she is beautiful throughout the book of Song of Solomon (NLT):
  • "What a lovely filly (horse) you are..."1:6
  • "Your eyes are soft like doves..."1:15
  • "A lily among thorns..."2:2
  • "Your voice is pleasant and you are lovely..."2:14
  • "Your hair is like a flock of goats..."4:1
  • "Your lips are like a ribbon of scarlet..."4:3
  • "Your neck is as stately a the tower of David..."4:4
  • "Your cheeks are like pomegranate halts--lovely and delicious..." 4:5
  • "You are so beautiful, my beloved so perfect in every part..." 4:7

 Some of Solomon's wording may seem a little odd to us today.  I would never call my wife a horse or tell her that her hair looked like a flock of goats--I'm a LITTLE smarter than that.

 Without getting into what each of the phrases meant in the 1st century you will have to believe me that with each of these phrases Solomon was praising his wife's beauty and not just in generalities he was taking notice of specific parts like her eyes, voice, hair, neck & cheeks!

 I personally, and men in general, are not very good at noticing the specific beautiful parts of the women in our lives and if we do notice them we are not very good at expressing it to them in non sexual ways.  A specific comment about your wife's hair or make up will go ten times further in letting them know they are loved than general compliments like, "you look pretty."

 Here are a few tips I have found useful in letting the women in my life know how beautiful they are.  I admittedly don't compliment my wife's beauty enough so these tips are as much reminders for me as they are tips for you.

  • 1. Start the day with a compliment.

    When you wake up in the morning and see your amazing wife's faced still smooshed against the pillow, touch her cheek, give her a kiss, call her one of your pet names and mean it. You are one lucky man to have this woman in your life, so let her know it.

    2. Make a list of specific things that make your wife beautiful to you.

    Make a list of the specific things you love about her looks and when you notice that thing tell her.  It may seem awkward at first but it will become more natural over time.

    3. If she rejects your compliment, don't be defeated.

    What if you tell her she looks beautiful and she says, “No I’m not. You’re just saying that.” What then?  Ignore her comment, persist by saying, “Did you hear me, Love? You are beautiful to me.  Then give her a hug.  Even if she fights it on the outside she will feel loved on the inside.

    4. Stop lusting after other women.

    If you often look at and comment on how beautiful other women are you need to change your focus. Women can easily feel less than beautiful to the man they love if he pays too much attention to other women and comments on their beauty, or keeps staring at them. 

    5. Brag about her to others

    If she’s not there when you say it, someone will tell her and she’ll love it. If she hears you say it with her own ears, she’ll love you all the more. Adore your wife and let the world know.

    6.  Start immediately

    Start today by giving your wife at least one sincere, specific compliment. It can be about her hair, her outfit, her makeup or anything you notice--big or small.  Take advantage of every opportunity to sincerely compliment her. Specific compliments let her know that you are noticing and will help her feel beautiful, inside and out.

    A little tip for wives from a husbands point of view:

    When your husband gives you a compliment, take it. Thank him. Don’t diminish it. Let him know you heard him and appreciate it. By doing this you become even more beautiful in his eyes.







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