Blessings In The Battles

Who Am I? The purpose of my blog is to acquire practical relationship advice from one of the wisest men to ever live, King Solomon.   This relationship advice is recorded in the book of Song of Solomon contained in the Bible.   There are so many rich and practical relational truths found in this book that when looking back at the blog, I found myself skipping right over the very first sentence in the entire book, "The Song of Songs which is Solomon's."  (Song of Solomon 1:1)    At first glance this appears to be an insignificant statement of fact but in reality it is a very significant question we must all answer BEFORE we get into a relationship with someone else.   I never stopped to answer the question, "Who was Solomon?" History tells us that Solomon was a wise man with wisdom that excelled the wisdom of most people of his day, he was the King of Israel, he was a very wealthy business man, and he was also a father, and husband. (I Kings 4...

Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? Picture this scene in your mind.   There is a bride who is head over heals in love with her groom--she has found Mr. Right!   It is only days or maybe hours before the "big day."   The bride is sitting around with her girlfriends and one of them says, "I wish I were in love like you."   And the brides response is, "No you don't--not unless it is the right time and with the right person." What wisdom from a young bride.   Wisdom I wish I had when I was in my teens or   early twenties.   There is a historical scene much like this one recorded in the book of Song of Solomon (Chapter 2:7).   What the bride actually said was this, " Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild not to awaken love until the time is right." For those of us who are "city folk" this may not be a very familiar analogy but I have seen enough episodes of Duck Dynasty to picture ...

One piece of advice almost every married couple has heard at one point in their marriage is that they should go on a "date night" on a regular basis.    But, do couples who schedule “date nights” into their busy lives really decrease the chances of divorce and increase happiness in their marriage?  According to a report released by the   National Marriage Project   at the University of Virginia they do! The study shows that husbands and wives who engaged in couple time or date night with their mates at least once a week were approximately 3.5 times more likely to report being “very happy” in their marriages, compared to those who enjoyed less quality time with their spouse.  So, if date night has been proven to increase our marital happiness why don't we do it more often? More than 30% of single women told Glamour magazine they haven’t been on a “real” date in more than a year, and 88% of women in relationships don’t have regular date...

Acc ording to Jimmy and Karen Evans marriage and family experts and founders of Marriage Today,(1) "Security is the number one need of a woman." They go on to say, "There is nothing that makes a woman feel more secure than a selfless sacrificial male." Solomon shows his sacrificial security for his bride in Song of Solomon 2:3-6.   In these verses we see him provide security with sustenance, shade and support. Solomon's bride says she, sat down in his shade, that he sustained her with cakes of raisins and supported her with his left hand under her head (2).   For men, providing sustenance--"bringing home the bacon" is something we naturally want to do for our wives but it is only a small part of making them feel secure in a marriage. A good husband will also provide shade and refuge for his wife from the harsh elements of the world.   Life isn't always a walk in the park on a perfect spring day.   So, when life gets hot or storm...

"I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley" (Song of Solomon 2:1).   Rose of Sharon   is a  common name  to several flowers with onion like flower bulbs.  The phrase applies to several different species of flowering plants but each species is highly valued throughout the world.   "Recently, some scholars insist on translating (the hebrew phrase "rose of Sharon") as "a budding bulb" (1) instead of the rose of Sharon   because no one can agree on the exact species of flower the author of Song of Solomon is referring to.  The meaning is clear, Solomon's bride felt as beautiful as a rose, she was starting to bud and blossom as a young lady. French Novelist Marcel Proust said we should, "Be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."   I believe Solomon's bride is starting to feel like a budding rose because of the love he showed her ...

In Last weeks blog I wrote about Dr. Gary Chapman's book, " The Five Love Languages " and the importance of showing love to those in our lives through THEIR love language.  No matter how much we love someone, sometimes we will encounter what I like to call, "Love Language Barriers." The Most Common Love Language Barrier is not knowing the primary love language of your spouse, (or anyone else you are  trying to show love towards).  Finding out their primary  love language is crucial to our loved ones  feeling loved.  M y primary love  language is Quality Time.  I love to go to dinner with my wife, sit and watch a movie together, or just lay in bed and talk and laugh together.  When we first got married, I knew Alana loved me more than anything in the world but she tried to show me love by making sure the dishes and laundry were done and the house was clean.   She would wear herself out trying to show that she loved me by doi...

"ich liebe dich", "te amo,"  S 'agapó̱ If I were to say, "I love you" to my wife in another language it would literally be "Greek to her."  She wouldn't understand a word I was saying.  Likewise, when we "speak" love to our partner in a love language that doesn't make them feel loved, it doesn't do any good. Our family used to joke that Joel's love language was food because I used to sneak him food so he would love me the most.   Gary Chapman coined the phrase, "Love Languages" with the publication of his book, "The Five Love Languages", several years ago.   I have learned more useful advice from this one book about show love to my wife, my kids, my friends, and family than any other single book I have ever read on love, relationships marriage or parenting.   I will not reproduce the manuscript of the book in this blog (#1 that would be plagiarism & #2 I don't have that much time) b...